The good…and the bad…

The good news is that the one-act I directed as part of The Secret Theatre’s One Act Factor, has been chosen as a semi-finalist! After 2 sold out performances, The Day Job by Julia Blauvelt, will get at least one more performance this Friday, March 30th at 8pm. And, if we pass to the Finals it will get two more performances! Tickets and details available here. The whole festival has been incredibly successful. The shows have played to sold out houses and it’s the first time that something I directed has sold so well…and that’s what I wanted to talk a bit about in today’s blog. You see, NY independent theater is hard. It’s hard work, yes, but it’s also hard to get audiences. I know, I know, I know, this is not new information; I mean, it’s hard to get audiences for EVERYTHING, so it’s not a shock that it’s hard to get audiences for low budget indy theater in the theater capital of the world. After all, Joe Blow Tourist from middle America ain’t coming to my experimental, multimedia, adaptation of an obscure Mary Doria Russell novel, even if it is a fantastic show and even if it is practically in Times Square…but still, it can be hard to keep the motivation going and, when you’re involved in a production that does very well (as I am with The One Act Factor) it’s a reminder of how things sometimes don’t go so well in other areas of your life.

Most of the time I try very hard to be nothing but positive on this blog. I mean GTTP is an exciting company and we do exciting work and I want you all to see that, hear that, and feel that from this blog. I don’t mind sharing the reality of the difficulties of producing theater here but I don’t want to skew to the negative. I want to be honest – I mean, isn’t that what a blog is for/about but nobody wants to hear me whine about how producing theater is haaaaarrrrrdddddd. So, read the rest of this blog at your own risk. If you’d rather just see the happy sunny side of life, skip this blog post entirely and catch up with us next week when I discuss the best theater organization in the city that you’ve never heard of. But, if you want to hear the truth, keep on reading…and stick around for the end cause there’s a nice little addendum to this story.

So, as I believe I’ve mentioned before, being an artist in NYC is hard and sometimes there are days when you can’t help but think why why why am I doing this? During the run of Full Disclosure I had one (actually a few) of those days when we had VERY small audiences (like two people) and there were even a couple performances we had to cancel because no one showed up at all. What if you threw a party and no one showed up? Well, I can tell you, because it’s happened to me and it sucks. And, because I’m hoping other theater companies out there read this blog, I want them to realize when the going gets tough that they’re not alone out there. In the end I felt like it was only fair for me to post the good with the bad. So here goes. (Also, since I’m not certain that anyone other than my mom reads this blog anyway, it can’t hurt, right?)

The life of an artist. (An artist with an amazing, super supportive, incredibly awesome husband, family and general support system, but an artist nonetheless…)

Everyone is encouraging. Everyone is supportive. I can’t express how grateful I am for that encouragement and support but what if everyone is also delusional? What if I am? It never seemed like such a crazy dream, it still doesn’t…I just want to make a living as a director. And yes I know making a living with art is crazy. It’s impossible… It won’t get you rich… I know, I know, I know… but here’s the thing… the thing I keep coming back to… the reason I can’t just stop. I can’t just let it go… Are you ready for the thing? Here it is: people do it. Yup, that’s right. There are people all over the world (and when it comes to theater particularly this city – all over this city) who do it. They make a living with their art. It may not be a good living but it’s how they pay their bills… And hell, some of them are even rich. Not Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey rich, but, you know, they make a decent living. They’re rich enough not to worry every month about paying their bills, about going out to a nice dinner (I am so sick of tuna fish but that’s another story) about picking up a nice bottle of wine (although say what you will, that 3 buck chuck ain’t bad at all). You know, they just do it. That’s what I’d like to get to. I’d like to have a little breathing room so that each month I don’t have to go into an ulcer-inducing, migraine causing, teeth grinding panic that the bills are due…

So, in order to become a director, I became a producer. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And I started this production company… And you know what? We’re good. I mean we do good – really good – work. And, every show I think “this one’s going to be different. This time I’ll get the word out in advance. I’ll make sure the show is listed everywhere, that everyone knows about it. I’ll hang signs and run campaigns and we’ll have HUGE audiences (or at least decent houses).” And you know what happens? I do the listings. I hang the signs. I talk to the people and… we’re lucky if we get 10 people!

Now, I know we don’t have brand recognition. I know we often do new works and none of those new works are produced by Alicia Keys or starring Sarah Jessica Parker, but still, we do great stuff with amazing actors. How are we flying under the radar? Why is word not spreading? In the past I’ve had marketing help but clearly it’s time to bring in a pro… or is it? Is it worth the expense? Will they really bring in an audience or funds or whatever? What’s next?

I’m hoping Persuasion, being Jane Austen, will at least bring in some folks, but honestly, if we can’t bring in some money, we can’t do Persuasion. This is why we did Full Disclosure. Do a smaller less expensive show, sell out a few houses and BOOM! Enough money in the bank to have a base for Persuasion but you know what’s happened? We did 12 performances of a planned 14 performance run and… no sold out houses. In fact our largest house was eighteen people and we had to cancel two performances (one of them on a SATURDAY night!) because there was no audience! I mean, I’ve faced small audiences before but since the start of GTTP I have NEVER had to cancel an entire performance, let alone two. We’re going backwards!! So now what?

You have to persevere. You can’t give up. You just need to have a thick skin. But, if I’m really going to persevere (and who are we kidding? I am because a director is who I am) and if I’m not going to give up (spoiler alert: I’m not (see the whole “it’s who I am” thing above)) then I don’t think the thick skin is going to cut it. I think, not a thick skin – a short memory.

Yes, you have to remember enough to learn from your mistakes but once you’ve done that? Forget, forget, forget. Forget the disappointment of the last time. Forget that acid stomach, might-vomit feeling of looking at the two presales at five minutes to curtain and thinking “maybe there’s a tourist bus full of people just pulling up out front.” Forget the headache inducing feeling of looking at your audience of 2, count ‘em TWO wonderful people, knowing they’ll still get an amazing performance but that it would be better if that 2 were 20 or 50 or 100. You need to forget, forget, forget and believe – really BELIEVE that next time it will be different… And then SOMEHOW you need to make that happen.

Because, if Going to Tahiti Productions is about the possibility (and it is), about all of the possible things that could happen when that curtain goes up or those lights go on… well then, it’s definitely POSSIBLE that one of the possibilities is playing to packed houses. Maybe with a longer run. Maybe with a show with a bigger budget. Maybe with a press rep. Maybe, maybe, baby… but whatever the answer I guess the only way I’m going to find it is to keep trying…right?

So, I guess I have no choice, right? So, I pick myself up off the mat, forget, forget, forget the disappointments of last show, last year, last night…know, know, KNOW that the product is good, whether the audience is 2 or 20 or 50 or 100. Know that the show is HIGH quality and get ready to do it again tomorrow. I mean who are we kidding? In the world of dreams is there ever, was there really ever, an option to do anything OTHER than keep pursuing? I think not. See you at the theater, folks. I know it’s where I’ll be… And honestly, I really hope you come and join me for the ride!

So I wrote the above blog post during the run of Full Disclosure, and though the show was terrific and Kiwi Callahan knocked it out of the park for every freaking performance, we didn’t have a fantastic attendance rate and we lost money on the show. BUT! Something happened with Cat Lady Without a Cat. Are you ready? We made…wait for it…EIGHTY EIGHT DOLLARS! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen of the interwebs, we didn’t lose a dime on our last production, we are in the black! So, you know…progress…Here’s hoping this is the beginning of an upward trend for GTTP! I have a feeling, 2012 is going to be a very good year.